Pre-order available
Funny Birthday Card - Here's your Birthday Cake, now piss off!
$8.95
Postage & Shipping
We will work quickly to ship your order as soon as possible. Once your order has been been shipped, you will receive an email with further information. Delivery times vary between 5-10 days depending on stock availability and delivery location. Postage is free for all orders over $15.
Return policy
Our goal is for every customer to be totally satisfied with their purchase. If this isn't the case, let us know and we'll do our best to work with you to make it right.
Join the Club
Our products are manufactured both locally and globally. We carefully select our partners to ensure our products are high quality and a fair value.
Celebrate with a cheeky laugh! Ideal for mates who appreciate blunt honesty wrapped in comedy, this greeting card works brilliantly for friends, family, or workmates with a twisted sense of humour. One card per pack—because sometimes the best birthday wishes come with a side of cheek.
Curated Chaos
Straight to your doorstep
APPROVED BY TURTLES
Handle with Joy
Pairs well with
More to Love
Christmas
Christmas
Frequently asked questions
What is the return policy?
Our goal is for every customer to be totally satisfied with their purchase. If this isn't the case, let us know and we'll do our best to work with you to make it right.
Are any purchases final sale?
We are unable to accept returns on certain items. These will be carefully marked before purchase.
When will I get my order?
We will work quickly to ship your order as soon as possible. Once your order has shipped, you will receive an email with further information. Delivery times vary depending on your location.
Where are your products manufactured?
Our products are manufactured both locally and globally. We carefully select our manufacturing partners to ensure our products are high quality and a fair value.
How much does shipping cost?
Shipping is calculated based on your location and the items in your order. You will always know the shipping price before you purchase.
Add to your cart before your sensible side returns
"A playful online store for the delightfully offbeat — gifts, gadgets, and home bits that make you smile for no reason"
- Turtle Fan Club
Serotonin, but make it shippable
We sell serotonin disguised as, stuff.