Pre-order available
For the Record, You're Not Old - You're A Classic Birthday Card
Postage & Shipping
Delivery usually takes 5–10 working days after it's been processed and packaged. This may vary depending on stock availability and how far your parcel has to travel (we wish we had teleportation too). Postage is free for all orders over $39, otherwise it's just $3.95. See the full policy here
Return policy
We offer 30 days to request a return as long as the item is unused and in its original packaging. Sale items can’t be returned unless they’re faulty. You can fin the the full policy here
Buy Bulk and Save
If you are a wholesaler or retailer, please get in touch with us for discounts on bulk orders.
Turning another year older? Consider yourself vintage instead. This cheeky birthday card flips the script on aging with style and humor. Measuring 20.5x13.5cm, it arrives with a matching envelope, both tucked in a protective sleeve. Crafted from premium uncoated cardstock, the blank interior invites your personal touch—because the best birthday wishes are the ones you write yourself. A thoughtful way to remind someone they're not getting older, they're becoming timeless.










Curated Chaos
Straight to your doorstep
APPROVED BY TURTLES
Handle with Joy
Pairs well with
More to Love
Christmas
Frequently asked questions
How long does delivery take?
Delivery usually takes 5–10 working days after it's been processed and packaged. This may vary depending on stock availability and how far your parcel has to travel (we wish we had teleportation too). Postage is free for all orders over $39, otherwise it's just $3.95. You can view our shipping policy here
Can I return something?
Absolutely — you have 30 days to request a return as long as the item is unused and in its original packaging. Sale items can’t be returned unless they’re faulty
Do you offer free shipping?
We sure do! Orders over $39 ship free Australia-wide.
Do you accept returns on sale items?
Sorry, sale items can’t be returned unless they’re faulty. You can view our full returns policy here
Add to your cart before your sensible side returns
"A playful online store for the delightfully offbeat — gifts, gadgets, and home bits that make you smile for no reason"
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